How often I wonder,
Is there another me ?
I crush my head and ponder,
I'm in chains,could I be free ?
I'm the saint and the sinner,
The librarian,the stripper.
I am half filled;that's half empty,
I pursue holiness ,end up filthy.
For a day I'm strong,then I'm week,
I'm the bold one and I'm the meek.
I'm like a mutant powered to kill himself,
I need salvation,save me God from myself.
I can't see the hook,its pulling me near,
I dread my tomorrow,honestly I fear.
I know its porn;I know its a sin,
I struggle,get beat up,why can't I win ?
These girls are nude,I should know its gross.
My half naked Lord hanging on the cross.
I am fine, alright, I can take another drink,
Can't I see the trap and know that I will sink.
What point of the trap,do I loose my mind?
Is there a button in life to just rewind.
I know this is sin and I know the price,
I need a way out ,help me Lord Christ.
Oh! How often I wonder,
Is there another me ?
Rape,murder,adultery are sins,but lie is not
It starts here at deception,the very first knot.
Where do I draw the line,how do I know ?
How can I beat this guilt,how can I say no?
Jesus,heal my past and give me tomorrow,
Give me hope and peace,I'll trade my sorrow.
am I the only one going through these things,
Is only my angel,the one with broken wings ?
On this lonely night,starring at a star-less sky,
I wonder,am I alone or Is there another me ?
July,20,2011.
Showing posts with label arockia rathan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arockia rathan. Show all posts
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sleeping with the enemy
Hi all,
It's been a long time i posted a blog & now i don't find any other better job..so i am back...
There were lots'a interesting stuff happening in my life & i will post them frequently,but for now its a sad story.
Aug 14th was a normal,sun n shiny,sweat n sultry day in chennai,having no one at room i was having a big time phone talk with anu(a.k.a karunya,my fiancee),those who don't know that i'm engaged,now get enlightened..yes,i am committed n engaged.coming back to the story,the long chat was interrupted by kannan,asking whether we could lunch out..i gladly yes'ed..i was very hungry n gorged on kerela chicken fry n the typical kerala rice'..then i took a nap..n when i woke up i found myself burning,so as everyone does i had a paracetamol n slept.I had a tight packed schedule for independence day..Mornin 5.30 communion service,9.30 church retreat till 4.30 eve @ v.g.p beach resort n to end up 5.00 pm,a rock concert which i was most awaiting,two spectacular bands are playin..when my alarm banged at 4.30,early in the mornin,i woke up and found a different story,i was shivering n burning.unfortunately there was no one at room,n some how i managed the whole day.
As the evening peeped in,i couldn't take in any longer.Then came my guardian angel in an auto.Anu took me to Laxmi hospital,where we always used to go & The rest is the story.My temp was 103.6 and i was put up in the ICU,My brother sudhan(he calls himself Anto.d.park) was informed and he broke the Rock show and came.15th to 19th;four real-tough days,I had fever fluctuating between 100-102,i was sweating all the day,6 bottles of some medicine goin thru my veins every day which is added up by tablets,tonics & a very restricted diet.'Man,typhoid is such a wretched disease',these were the exact words the doctor said.friends came up in shifts ,anu came in the evening and left in the nights,sudhan was there from afternoon till night.My mom came on monday,the 17th & she had tough time with chennai's weather.Now the interesting thing is,the typhoid count was 320,which was severe when i was admitted,when checked again on 18th it was 640 ? ! ? !,but the doctor said its a ladder kind'a disease,it would raise up and gradually come down,these words were a relief.Praise God my temp dint shoot up after 19th afternoon,we waited till saturday,the 22nd and we flew back home(My first ever flight experience).Guys google says its due to some food(includes milk & water) contamination,So watch out before u eat-out.
I wanna thank all of u,who prayed for me,You people are truly God-sent.Hey forgot to tell u,i am leaving to canada on sep 2nd.These days at hospital were the days when God spoke to me thru the Bible,one of the best conversations that i've ever had with Jesus(i'll blog about it later).Now i am at home eating a no oil,no spice & :-( NO NON-VEG :-( diet (Grrrrrrr....i hate typhoid),praying in the morning,reading Bible,taking rest,watching t.v some times,checkin my orkut & fb on mobile and above all sleeping with my enemy,Salmonella typhi....
Cheers,
R :-)
It's been a long time i posted a blog & now i don't find any other better job..so i am back...
There were lots'a interesting stuff happening in my life & i will post them frequently,but for now its a sad story.
Aug 14th was a normal,sun n shiny,sweat n sultry day in chennai,having no one at room i was having a big time phone talk with anu(a.k.a karunya,my fiancee),those who don't know that i'm engaged,now get enlightened..yes,i am committed n engaged.coming back to the story,the long chat was interrupted by kannan,asking whether we could lunch out..i gladly yes'ed..i was very hungry n gorged on kerela chicken fry n the typical kerala rice'..then i took a nap..n when i woke up i found myself burning,so as everyone does i had a paracetamol n slept.I had a tight packed schedule for independence day..Mornin 5.30 communion service,9.30 church retreat till 4.30 eve @ v.g.p beach resort n to end up 5.00 pm,a rock concert which i was most awaiting,two spectacular bands are playin..when my alarm banged at 4.30,early in the mornin,i woke up and found a different story,i was shivering n burning.unfortunately there was no one at room,n some how i managed the whole day.
As the evening peeped in,i couldn't take in any longer.Then came my guardian angel in an auto.Anu took me to Laxmi hospital,where we always used to go & The rest is the story.My temp was 103.6 and i was put up in the ICU,My brother sudhan(he calls himself Anto.d.park) was informed and he broke the Rock show and came.15th to 19th;four real-tough days,I had fever fluctuating between 100-102,i was sweating all the day,6 bottles of some medicine goin thru my veins every day which is added up by tablets,tonics & a very restricted diet.'Man,typhoid is such a wretched disease',these were the exact words the doctor said.friends came up in shifts ,anu came in the evening and left in the nights,sudhan was there from afternoon till night.My mom came on monday,the 17th & she had tough time with chennai's weather.Now the interesting thing is,the typhoid count was 320,which was severe when i was admitted,when checked again on 18th it was 640 ? ! ? !,but the doctor said its a ladder kind'a disease,it would raise up and gradually come down,these words were a relief.Praise God my temp dint shoot up after 19th afternoon,we waited till saturday,the 22nd and we flew back home(My first ever flight experience).Guys google says its due to some food(includes milk & water) contamination,So watch out before u eat-out.
I wanna thank all of u,who prayed for me,You people are truly God-sent.Hey forgot to tell u,i am leaving to canada on sep 2nd.These days at hospital were the days when God spoke to me thru the Bible,one of the best conversations that i've ever had with Jesus(i'll blog about it later).Now i am at home eating a no oil,no spice & :-( NO NON-VEG :-( diet (Grrrrrrr....i hate typhoid),praying in the morning,reading Bible,taking rest,watching t.v some times,checkin my orkut & fb on mobile and above all sleeping with my enemy,Salmonella typhi....
Cheers,
R :-)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Blog - Again
Every John & Jane does this,So am i....
Hi friends,Well this is not my debut blog,tried a couple of them
before but unable to scribble often,so they must be somewhere in
the cyberspace junk.
(An excerpt from the interview with the author - A Blogger time exclusive)
BT:So what is this blog all about ?
Rathan:Nothing much,i take this as a platform that gives me
freedom to speak...So i will.
BT:Do you have a theme for this blog ? or what genre is this blog going to be ?
Rathan:Well almost all,I am alive because of Jesus Christ,so its a
lot about Him(don't tell 'Ya another Christian blog !!'),My job,My
room mates,Well anything interesting of that sort.
BT:How frequent are you gonna blog ?
Rathan:Not sure,lets see (laughing....)
BT:What's the reason for coming to blogger again ?
Rathan:I have tried all possible ways of keeping in touch with my
friends & loved ones,& i think blogs are the most expressive way of
doing that.
BT:So what's this "LIBERATEDR ? ? "
Rathan:Good that you've asked me.My friends who knew me for
more than 5 years now,may know it better.I was once into deep
addictions of smoking,drinking,little bit of drugs & more into filthy
carnal desires,but now i am set free.I believe that Jesus died for
me on the cross,so that i may be forgiven(& i am).So that is what i
always mention 'liberated R'athan.Liberated from sin & its
clutches,darkness & its dread.
free & liberated.
Liberated by grace.
BT:Do you have anything else to share with us ?
Rathan:I wanna thank the innovative brains behind Google & all of
you who have already spent more than a minute reading my blog.
BT:Thank you Rathan.
Rathan:Yap,take care & God bless...
Well guys i have never been interviewed before,So was just kidding all the way.
You people take good care,See you quite often.
Note:The Author works as a tech support engineer,does many things for survival out of which the least is blogging..Lol..
Cheers,
-R-
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