after that

24 November 2008, 09:30 A.M - R.C cemetery
kodungaiyur, North Madras.

At times I hate my mobile phone,especially when it disturbs me after my tough night with American customers on call.It gets into my nerves.T'was a call as this,interrupting my sleep badly.I dragged the 'hellllllllooooooo',it was my mom on the other line,so sweet mom but not this time.she knew that she disturbed me,but with apology as a backdrop with a broken tone she told me 'நம்ம செழியன் அம்மா இறந்துட்டாங்க....'(Chezhian;My bro-in-law's mom died).

They wanted me to go & attend the funeral.Personally,I do not knew her.I was least interested & my mom forced me that i have to represent my family.Grrr.....Why did i grow up ?,the sick thing is i stay at velachery,the funeral is at kodungaiyur,roughly 30 kms.I cant imagine chennai's morning traffic,i feared.After accepting all the excuses,my mom said that they cant come to chennai travelling 450 kms & she added that 30 kms is easy to reach than 450 kms.Eurekha!! she found that.

I fed the poor bike(we call it the 'room bike',where vinod pays the installment but its everyone's possession),Me & prince (My cousin, my room-mate; a very interesting character) started off to kodungaiyur,a hard ride for 1 hr & 45 mins;i never knew even harder part is waiting for me.It was'nt tough to spot the house,but when we went there they took her to the church.We found the church & reached there to join the last few minutes of the Funeral service,they they took her to the cemetery.I am sure it was'nt the same pulse rate as i drove from home till here.

I was feeling chill,it wasn't just the scene that disturbed me,but something far beyond that.The same woman who walked yesterday,can never walk again.she gave up three boys,all matured,2 of 3 was already married.I knew these guys are gonna break out now,but the masculine mind in them was consoling the relatives & making the funeral in order.I believe she was a woman,who was loved by many.As i saw people crying & lamenting,i thought 'How precious a life is ? ?'.A sense of fear started creeping in;what if i crash over a lorry when i get back to room ? how am i gonna take up if my mom dies ? ?As they laid her in the pit,the eldest broke out-he has got two kids-he wept like a kid,knowing that the reason for who he is today is no more.the second son joined him & that was too hard to see.Their loving mom is sleeping silent unknowing that she
is been missed by many.I was moved,that felt so personal to me.



I saw her husband looking at her,froze,speechless & locked at the moment.looking at a female,who means a lot to him.Those hands that held him in all walks of the life,those legs that jumped, hopped, ran & walked with him crossing all hurdles together,face that he loved for years,which he saw developing wrinkles,the heart that loved him & took care of him like no one else can do,After decades together,tonight he's gonna sleep alone.That was a tragedy beyond description.

The last son; a computer-wiz, i never saw him crying, but he stood still looking down his mom lying benign. Now when everyone started dispersing, he stood still at the same place covering his mouth with a hand kerchief, i was not able to take that, i wanted to choke him hard & say, 'Man plz cry,don't hold that in...'.He stood still.

People started moving out, we signed off from the crowd with sad faces. As we drove out, i took the pillion, the whole world looked dark to me & vividly i knew that's not because of the coolers i wore.i was still haunted with a million questions.What a short & uncertain life is this,what have i done worthy in the life ? ? ,will i leave a group that'll miss me ? ?,But the question that echoed very loud & clear was....


Where will i go,if i die now ? ?



"you will know the truth, & the truth will set you free." - John 12:48


Cheers,
-R-

A BIG Post

19 November 2008, 09:30 P.M - Nilgiris Express.
Some where beyond the out skirts of Chennai.

I was scared by the train which came from the other side,screaming at her highest voice.she just gave a pause for the commotion that we were creating inside the train.On the way to udumalpet,My home town,to attend one of friend's sister's marriage.I donno why,but i just love traveling by train.May be its a bit extra this time because i was going home after six months.



They say Marriages are made in Heaven(don't ask me Who said ? ! ?),may be its true,Because the whole process was full of Joy & happiness.We as a team started by that night.Ah ! A night without american customers spoiling my ear buds,a night without chennai & its noise,without Avaya ringing all time,Ah ! i just wanted this.We had food together,yummy tomato rice & some dish,still waters my mouth.Had a long talk with friends & finally dozed off on the moving train(a.k.a cradle).I heard vinodh screaming 'Tirupur !! Tirupur' waking up the whole compartment & the funny thing was when Abel told 'Just 5 more minutes anna',anyway it was'nt a tough job for us to kick him out of the train.Early morning,it was biting chill,thick & sharp mist,all the way through we reached Home Sweet home.It was too good to be at home.

In a jiffy,we got ready to the marriage.


It was a beautiful scene,something like....hmmmm... a 'Must-watch'.A play back singer was singing christian melodies,the bright light which was focused upon the couples,who were already drenched in sweat,trying to smile & may be thinking 'ok ..alright..we are married,now you may turn off the lights & bugger off..',if they are gonna flood me with light on my marriage,i am gonna say this on the micro-phone...lol...I am not kidding.



Families sharing smiles,the feast which was occupied on a shift basis,the pair who was speaking gestures,altogether it looked like(& it was) a place where there was no worries. Every good thing has an end,after the marriage we drove to a near-by dam,somewhere in my buffer memory i rewinded the scene that i drove from Madhya kailash to S.R.P tools,roughly around 2 kms, on the I.T Highway which i drove for 25 minutes struck up in a bloody traffic,ok lets not think about Chennai when we are speaking something good.All together the trip was good,had good food,slept like a log,prayed well,

Well... had a pleasant stay at home.unwillingly i started to Chennai :-(



Four days later............

24 November 2008, 09:30 A.M - R.C cemetery
kodungaiyur, North Madras.
...........................................................................
....................................................................................
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Blog - Again

Every John & Jane does this,So am i....

Hi friends,Well this is not my debut blog,tried a couple of them
before but unable to scribble often,so they must be somewhere in
the cyberspace junk.

(An excerpt from the interview with the author - A Blogger time exclusive)

BT:So what is this blog all about ?
Rathan:Nothing much,i take this as a platform that gives me
freedom to speak...So i will.

BT:Do you have a theme for this blog ? or what genre is this blog going to be ?
Rathan:Well almost all,I am alive because of Jesus Christ,so its a
lot about Him(don't tell 'Ya another Christian blog !!'),My job,My
room mates,Well anything interesting of that sort.

BT:How frequent are you gonna blog ?
Rathan:Not sure,lets see (laughing....)

BT:What's the reason for coming to blogger again ?
Rathan:I have tried all possible ways of keeping in touch with my
friends & loved ones,& i think blogs are the most expressive way of
doing that.

BT:So what's this "LIBERATEDR ? ? "
Rathan:Good that you've asked me.My friends who knew me for
more than 5 years now,may know it better.I was once into deep
addictions of smoking,drinking,little bit of drugs & more into filthy
carnal desires,but now i am set free.I believe that Jesus died for
me on the cross,so that i may be forgiven(& i am).So that is what i
always mention 'liberated R'athan.Liberated from sin & its
clutches,darkness & its dread.

free & liberated.

Liberated by grace.

BT:Do you have anything else to share with us ?
Rathan:I wanna thank the innovative brains behind Google & all of
you who have already spent more than a minute reading my blog.

BT:Thank you Rathan.
Rathan:Yap,take care & God bless...

Well guys i have never been interviewed before,So was just kidding all the way.

You people take good care,See you quite often.

Note:The Author works as a tech support engineer,does many things for survival out of which the least is blogging..Lol..

Cheers,
-R-